3 Mindset Shifts to Overcome Resistance
1. Expect it. It will take many different forms. It will look different for everyone
2. Change the self-talk.
3. Ask good questions.
In summary
Links mentioned in this episode:
Video: Your Word s Matter
Video: Zen Master Is That So?
Book: The Art of War
Book: A New Earth
Blog Post on this episode: How to Overcome Resistance
What do you want? Inspiration to define exactly what you want. www.kathieowen.com/want
3 Mindset Shifts to Overcome Resistance
1. Expect it. It will take many different forms. It will look different for everyone
2. Change the self-talk.
3. Ask good questions.
In summary
Links mentioned in this episode:
Video: Your Word s Matter
Video: Zen Master Is That So?
Book: The Art of War
Book: A New Earth
Blog Post on this episode: How to Overcome Resistance
What do you want? Inspiration to define exactly what you want. www.kathieowen.com/want
*This is a transcript, expect errors
What you resist persists. And today we're going to talk about overcoming resistance and how to stop it in its tracks.
You're listening to the Stop the Mind Screw Podcast. I'm your host Kathie Owen Certified Fitness Trainer and Life Coach since 2006. Transforming lives and magic fashion teaching the Stop the mind screw process.
So today we're talking about resistance, we've all heard the statement, what you resist persists. I'm in the process of reading this really great book by Steven Pressfield called the War of Art. And it's all about resistance. It's all about how to overcome it, what it is. And he just nails it right on the head.
Resistance is an energy it's, it's doesn't care about your feelings. It's not anything that's real, but you know, it's, there, it is something that is there. And it's like when you set a lofty goal, Resistance is going to hold you back. It's going to try to keep you from getting it. And it doesn't matter who you are, where you are, what you do.
It's going to be there. I'll never forget the time that I let go of resistance, big time. And it was back in the time when I was reading the book A New Earth by Eckhart. Totally. And he talks about resistance a lot in that book. And he talks about. How to let it go and how the ego fights things and how it doubts us and lets fear get into the equation.
And when that happens, the resistance just sets in and piles up. And so my son was playing baseball and he was on his way to the little league world series. The team actually played. On ESPN one game away from the little league world series. And unfortunately, they lost. But during that season that he played there, I went through hell because my ex took over everything.
He, he was friends with everybody. He bought everybody's stuff. I remember we went to this dinner one night. We were in Tyler and he. You know, bought the restaurant out and got everybody dinner. And it was super duper uncomfortable for me because my extended talk to me, his wife didn't talk to me. They didn't even think I'd come to this dinner because they intimidate, they bullied the crap out of me so much, but I showed up by myself and it.
Extremely uncomfortable. And you could just say that my ex and his wife were like huge resistance factors in my life because they had all the money. So everybody was like, oh my God, he's such a nice guy. Look what all he did. And look, he bought us all dinner and he paid for this. And he paid for that. No, no, no, no.
Look how nice he is. He's so nice. He doesn't even acknowledge the fact that I gave birth to these kids. It was crazy, crazy. So resistance was setting in and I had a lot of struggles with that, but then I read that book, A new Earth, and I read the story about the monk. Where is that? So, and I will have a link to a video I did on that as well in the show notes.
And. That month, just let everything go. Every time he was confronted with a problem, he would say is that so, and he would just hand over whatever they wanted. And when I started doing that, I had a major shift in my life. Because you can imagine going to this dinner where everybody's worshiping the ground, they can't walked on and I had to sit there and go, Ooh, he won't even talk to me, whatever, you know, and I'm the one that gave birth to his kids.
And I just had to let go of it because it was just resistance, because guess what he did. Mm say, who was the mother of the kids? He did not say how my relationship with my kids went or even these other people that I was there with. I was just me. I didn't have to pretend anything. I didn't have to be somebody.
I wasn't. I was just me and I always came across that way because I didn't, because I just didn't fight it anymore. I just didn't fight it. And I just let it go. And when I did that, everything shit. So change your mindset to fight resistance because when you set a goal or when you have a dream, the bigger the dream, the more the resistance is going to come in.
The more it's going to come in to hit you. And we want to know how to overcome that. And that's what we're talking about. I have three mindset shifts that you can have happen when you faced resistance, which is going to come into play. You set a goal and you're filled with optimism. You're dreaming big and you're going, oh my gosh, I'm going to have all these wonderful things.
And then quickly hit the brakes because resistance just sat in. There is nothing. Easy about resistance. It is that thing that keeps you from doing what you say you're going to do. So we're going to talk about three mindset shifts and the first one is expectations. Expect resistance to happen, especially when you set a big goal, expected to come in, it could take many forms.
It can take drama with a friend. It can take family obligations. Um, illness or pandemic, it could be the weather. It could be the government, it could take many, many different forms. And for each of us it'll look different and sometimes it'll even look like something else it'll look like. It's totally irrelevant.
If you keep in mind your goal, your dream. You will see that that resistance has something for you to do that keeps you in line with that goal. Steven Pressfield said in his book, war of art resistance is the equal and opposite reaction of nature to the new thing that you and I are called to bring forth out of nothing.
There would be no resistance without the dream. What that is pretty profound, the bigger the goal. The bigger, the resistance just expect it. It's all part of fun. You know, it's kinda like your trainer telling you, okay. Today we're doing uphill sprints. That sounds like fun, right? Yeah, sure. A lot of fun, but the fun that your trainer means, and that would be me, your trainer is that fun makes you stronger and it builds confidence.
It's in no way, easy. Heck that is what fitness is all about. That's what building your fitness is all about. You want to make yourself stronger and you want to become more confident. That leads me to mindset shift. Number two, my set shift number two has to do with the stop, the mind screw process, which is step number three.
And that is how are you talking to yourself? Change the conversation, you know, think about the times you say, oh my gosh, I can't focus. Oh my gosh, I'm just a procrastinator or I'll never follow through. I just don't have any attention to detail. Yeah. We all say these things and sure. They could be true, but look at them differently.
And. They are all just surface level. They're all just surface level conversations. When you dig deeper, there's something else. There, there is nothing that empowers resistance more than calling it by a false name. What do I mean by that? When you say I can't focus, what that really means is you're resisting something.
Just call it resistance, call it what it is. You're empowering resistance. When you say I can't focus, quit calling it by a false name. So let's look at those statements again, especially anything you say I can't do when you say I can't, you're giving it whatever you're talking about. You're giving it your power.
Can't never did anything and it's still in addiction. But call it by its real name. When I can't focus. That's resistance. When I procrastinate. That is resistance. When I say I never follow through that is resistance. When I say I have no attention to detail. That is resistance. Hmm. Interesting. Huh. All right.
Number three, mindset shift to combat. Ask good questions. Resistance is a brilliant, brilliant teacher. There is always something to be learned every time you hit resistance. And when you look at it like that, it changes everything. And when you ask the right questions and you listen to the answers, woo I'm talking insight right there.
Ask yourself, what am I avoiding? What is going on, that's making me uncomfortable. Am I willing to endure this discomfort to achieve my goal? Most of the time, once you know what you are resisting and why you will face it in the name of your goal or your dream when you know what you're resisting and why you're resisting, you'll face it in the name of your.
So let's go back to something really important here. And that is what is your goal? What do you want? And dig deep and find out exactly what you want because when you know what you want, you're going to fight for it. You're going to have resistance come up. That's what we're talking about today. You're going to have resistance come up.
So why not fight it? Why not have a plan? And that's why I created the, what do you want form. That's why I coach on what do you want? That is step one and stop the mind screw process. Because when you know what you want, you can fight the resistance. For example, back to my daddy ball days and the baseball.
What I really wanted was just to be myself and just to feel comfortable when I went to these events, that's all I really wanted. And once I got clear on that, I was able to go to those events and not really care what other people thought and not really care how he reacted or what happened. All I cared about was being myself and being there for my child.
That's all I cared about and I look back on it now and it really, and truly still same thing. That's all I want. I don't care how he acts, how he reacts, because guess what? I can't control that anyways. I can control what I want, but I can't control what he's going to do or how he's going to react. That is resistance.
When you try to control what's going on. When you let go of resistance, it makes a whole world of difference. So in closing and in review, let's go over these points. Be ready for resistance when it comes, cause guess what? It's coming, especially when you have a big goal in place. Except that it's supposed to be there.
You know, I can hear my therapist's sharing Shary telling me when I'd be complaining about something that was going on, especially with in therapy. When I was complaining about what the narcissist was doing, she go and you expected something different from that, man. Hello. That's all that is. Except that it's supposed to be.
It's going to happen. Name it when it shows up call a spade a spade. Hey, that's resistance right there. Hair comes. That's the pendulum at work. When you see that it gives you power. It doesn't give the resistance power. Let it be your teacher ask. Really good question. That's empowering. Self-talk when you ask really good.
What am I avoiding? What makes me uncomfortable? Am I willing to endure this discomfort to achieve my goal? Listen, and be open no matter how uncomfortable you may feel and finally decide to stretch beyond your discomfort and downright fear. Cause that's all it is. And the name of achieving your dream or your goal need help with that?
Go sign up for my, what do you want? Um, little form. It's going to be in the show notes. It's going to be in the episode. www.kathieowen.com Start deciding what you want. Because that's step number one and stop the mind. Screw number one, number two, it'll help you with all of these, with these three mindset shifts that are going on when you're trying to, um, overcome resistance.
Because guess what? I don't care who you are, where you are, what you're doing, you're going to have resistance. Wouldn't you like to have a plan? I'm laying it out for you, right? All right. That's my episode four today. I hope you liked it. Be sure to share it with somebody who could benefit from this. And until next time, I'll see you next time.